


(Not so) Q&A

by miharuchii



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 00:01:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14629785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miharuchii/pseuds/miharuchii
Summary: Vernon was a man of many questions.[Inspired by recent verkwan moments (seungkwan's profile and vlive)]





	(Not so) Q&A

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry for the lame title, I SERIOUSLY couldn't find any better. Hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it (I loose 2 night of sleep... like these two... so relatable lmao)

Vernon was a man of many questions.

People always told him that was his main problem, whenever he went through an obstacle - whatever kind it was.

Especially Seungkwan, his friend, companion, _actual soulmate_ , he'd dare to say, had affirmed asking too many questions would lead to an uselessly complicated life, and they surely couldn't afford one, being internationally known singers and all.

But what Seungkwan didn't know was that majority of those doubts, at least the ones he'd never voiced out, were... well, about him.

About Seungkwan.

···

Before you say anything, yes, Vernon is aware that if he keeps these things to himself much longer, those will come out sooner or later (probably soon), to the point of exploding and never go back to how things were before.

The main issue wasn't he himself, or his personality, but his status in the industry. That was a more than enough reason to keep quiet.  
It was an 'unspoken rule' everyone acknowledged and feared in secret and didn't even discuss about it.

That was the only thing that his band, and their labelmates too, didn't really stand about their company rules. Everything else was perfect, really.

For those who don't understand what i'm talking about, in Pledis everything was attainable to their artists BUT, discussing about feelings among them was sort of tabu.

Now, let's add an 'Hansol Vernon Chwe' to the mix and the most silent and chill (but also shy and secretly a nervous wreck) personality would come out of it.

And that, his band knew too well. Hence this situation he was in that moment.

They were all asked to fill in profiles of other members: Seungcheol wrote Jeonghan's, Jeonghan's wrote Joshua's and so on.  
So, this only meant one thing: Seungkwan had the (mis)fortune of describing Hansol the way he sees him, as honestly as he could (of course, trying not to overcome boundaries he shouldn't have to).

And when those were officially published, he didn't know what to expect from his soulmate, if not compliments and a whole bunch of "I love you"s in every form.

He knew. He knew what Seungkwan felt for him. And one of the multitude of questions that literally ruined his sleep was: "Why does he have feelings for me?" Followed by the most common:  
"What's so special about me that he looks at me like that?"

Vernon couldn't help but ponder on those thoughts but the answers never came. Not until he had a serious talk with none other... than Chan.

«Did you read the profiles?» The 20 years old boy asked him, as soon as their locked gazes in the studio they were working at.  
He responded with another question to avoid any possible confrontation (and also, didn't want to trigger his deep feelings and turn his face uncharacteristically red).  
«Did _you_ read the one I wrote for you?»  
Chan looked at him in a way that could be only translated in a "are you for real?"look and, sensing the uncomfortable aura coming from the younger boy, Vernon decided to answer the initial question.

«...I did. But what do you want me to do, uh? I know he likes me, and I know he's slowly losing confidence and faith in whatever there is between us. What if I confess and he doesn't feel like before? I'm scared of the outcome.»

«Then man up and confess already, you moron.»

Hansol threw a dirty glance at the maknae, who just talked to him without honorifics.  
It wasn't like he felt disrespect by the younger or anything like that- kn fact they almost never followed the age-difference rules, also because they had a very close relationship-, but those times in which Dino's tone became louder and much more _irritated_ , Vernon knew all too well that his precious friend had enough. Of him and of his pubescent thoughts.

Sometimes he questioned if Chan was really just a 20 years old kid or if they've been fooled all this time.

The shorter boy spoke again, now with a much softer voice and gaze: «Don't question yourself too much, hyung. Doing that makes time pass by in a heartbeat, and you'd lose the chance when there's still hope. Because I know there is.»

The younger's words lingered in Vernon's mind and for the first time after their debut, he was finally able to imagine a version of himself, probably in his late twenties, his hand holding Seungkwan's, and their expressions completely cleared off by worries and stress.

A dream he really would have liked to be real.

···

It wasn't too much later that he went through his second crisis (in this case, thanks to his awkwardness) in the span of four days. In his own very honest opinion, that was a guinness world record.

Seventeen had a very loaded schedule during that week, with their partecipation to Dream Concert, Cho Youngpil's 50th anniversary celebration's opening concert and other show appearances. Most of these shows though were assigned to Seungkwan, who was getting pretty popular lately, surely because of his good performance in King of Masked Singer sometime earlier that year (and Vernon was quite tempted to save Seungkwan's phone number as Namukkun, but a loud smack on his shoulder by the, once, blonde boy made him return to his senses) and his variety skills were finally being recognized.

Of course, all of this brought a lot of stress to Seungkwan, whom lost sleep over it, literally having a week of sleep deprivation.  
The poor boy couldn't do much but vent out to his companions and that of course wasn't enough. Vernon knew he needed some rest.

So Seungkwan, during one of those sleepless nights, decided to go live on VApp, because he knew that talking to carat would relax his mind.

While Seungkwan was dedicating himself to their fans, Vernon was trying to enjoy his free time by watching their recently aired SVT CLUB episode.  
In all honesty he couldn't but think of their trip to Jeju, whenever he went through the episodes of their show.  
Some of the clips were supposed to be played sometime in the future, but nothing was certain so he had this constant, huge bugging in his mind that wouldn't come off of it.

He enjoyed their show with all of his heart, and he was finally getting distracted from his undesired thoughts, when suddenly the notification that Seungkwan went live popped up.

He almost fell from his bed.

His mind started to function like a mad machine, creating various doubts and question as "should I watch it or not?", "if I click it, will someone notice?", "what if he talks about our trip and he embarrasses me?" and many other useless thoughts.

He didn't even realize that 20 minutes, more or less, already passed and his phone automatically stopped the player to show that someone was calling him.

It was Seungkwan.

He didn't want to let him wait more and immediately answered the call.  
And Vernon never felt so lucky, but at the same time ashamed by his sudden spontaneity and flirty personality.

Also, he knew he would get scolded by Boo right after he'd turn off the video.

As things couldn't get any complicated than they were, he reciprocated Seungkwan's "I like you" like a fuckboy. 

The first time ever in his life.

On broadcast.

Fortunately, the call went through smoothly thanks to Soonyoung's entry (he probably picked up the weird atmosphere) and reacted using his very effective aegyo.

They ended the call because of the quietness from Seungkwan's line, and as soon as they closed it, Soonyoung looked at Vernon concerned.

«Are you okay?» The older asked.

«I fucked up, hyung. As usual.»

«It shouldn't be a thing, Hansol. Why is it so difficult for you to talk it out to Seungkwan? He deserves to know what you feel.»

Vernon sighed. «He does. But I don't deserve _him_. I'm an awkward as fuck boy who just "indirectly" confessed to the love of his life. He deserves someone with their thoughts in place and that isn't afraid of showing how much he means to them to the world.»

Throwing the phone to his side of the bed, Soonyoung replied: «Are you kidding? You do THAT and MORE! And you don't even realize it! The stares, the little touches, the hugs, the night talks... it is only between you two and no other. Your relationship can't even be labeled as a romantic one because it is so much more, Hansol. Don't underestimate the power of your love for each other. Cherish it and raise it. If you're not ready to tell him everything, then Seungkwan will wait. He waited all this time, I think he can do that for a bit more if that means finally getting together with you.»

In that exact moment, Seungkwan had concluded his live. 

···

That night, he still found himself with no motivation to sleep.  
Thoughts run through his mind, he tried to connect the dots, making out a reasonable excuse to Seungkwan for "being an ass all this time and never properly said how he feels for him".

Because, he thought a lot on this, and the conclusion was unexpected: he felt like he was already on a relationship with his Boo.  
They weren't officially boyfriends (the word made him giggle like an high school girl in love) but they acted like it. And his members noticed that too, and even tried to tell to the direct party but those two never really got that.

But now, as Vernon was going through his youtube playlist of Seungkwan's covers, he knew that it was _now_ or _never_. 

He hurriedly went to Seungkwan's shared room with Seokmin, trying not lighten his steps. He opened the door with caution, and sneaking a peek through it in search of his object of desire's sleeping figure.

And he (un)fortunately found him still up, face really close to his phone, swiping through his gallery.  
Sensing another presence in the room, Seungkwan glanced at the door's direction to find his Vernonie staring at him with shiny eyes.

«Vernonie? What are you doing still up at this hour?»

«I could ask you the same thing, actually.» He responded with a light chuckle. «Come with me. Some warm milk will probably help you relax and get the beauty sleep you deserve.»

With a content sigh, Seungkwan stood up and joined Vernon in the kitchen.

Once they arrived, Vernon started to warm the milk inside a pot, a comfortable silence reigning in the room.  
Filling two cups of milk, he gave one to the elder and both of them began to sipping quietly.

Seungkwan though broke the silence: «Be honest with me, Hansolie.»  
The boy tried not to make his gulp sound too loud.  
«...you wanted to talk, right? That's why you couldn't sleep, uh?»  
Vernon rubbed his fingers on his tracksuit (his momentary pajamas, at least until he got all his stuff out of the boxes).

«... I do. For quite some time now, actually.»

«I see. You can tell me what's bothering you, Hansolie. I'll try to give you useful advices as much as it is in my power-»

«You're what's bothering me, Seungkwan.»

Okay, that wasn't what he planned his answer to be, but he probably has some time to reformulate a much more sensible sentence.

Because apparently he broke Seungkwan.

«I mean. I'm sorry, it's not really _you_ the problem, but what I _feel about you_ that makes me literally lose sleep at night. Lose focus of the things I have to do when you're around. Forget I'm with others when just seconds ago you talked to me and I close myself in my own personal bubble, staring intensively on your fricking pouty and too-pretty-to-be-true lips. And your eyes... do you want me to start on those? Okay, your eyes are damn hypnotic Seungkwan, it's like they're casting some kind of spell on me to look at you the entire day long. And your goddamn cheeks, Boo! Sometimes I want to hit you so much because you're not happy about your bloated face but it actually makes you cuter than ever and also gives you that 'Seungkwan trait' that I love the most. I want to squish them so hard I'm actually scared they would burst within the second!»

Vernon talked, and talked, and gesticulated,  and laughed (hysterically), and during his whole confession of love, Seungkwan had his face hidden behind his hands, the point of his ears of obvious crimson.

Hansol breathed out: «...I don't know if you do it on purpose or you're completely unaware of it. But, Seungkwan, you have so much power in me it's actually scary.

«But I kinda got used to it. Of being wholly and undeniably crazy for you. I won't say 'take responsibility' because it is partially my 'fault' too and it's my turn to make things right. For good, this time.»

Finally Seungkwan let Vernon see him through his fingers, and could see how much embarrassed he was.  
He took another deep and shaky breath.

«Seungkwan. It's not on broadcast now. This is me, talking to you face to face. I like you. Scratch that, I love you. You're more than a person I want to kiss, make love, live with. I don't know if there's a word for the things I'm currently feeling for you, but it's powerful, devastating, and I don't know how did I go through my days without telling you this because it's so refreshing and I just like your blushing face right now.»

Seungkwan, his face a mixture of embarrassed, happy, kind of angry and exasperated, contoured by a beautiful shade of pink, was staring at him with his beautiful clear eyes.

«So. What I was trying to say is... do you want to be my boyfriend, Boo Seungkwan? Beware, if you say yes-»

«Yes.»

«-you'll have to bear with- _what_?»

«Hansolie... how could I not say yes? That was the thing I was looking out to hear from you the most ever since we met.»

Vernon, stil surprised, his cup of milk cold now, blinked a few times: «A... are you sure? I'm just saying this for your well-being-»

But before he could finish his sentence, he was interrupted by Seungkwan's peck... just under his nose.

Confused as ever, the rapper was mute for a couple of minutes, until finally Seungkwan gave him a proper kiss on the lips, and this time letting it last a bit longer.

«Hansolie... you ask too many questions.»

Now it was his turn for his face to go complety red and hot, but still a wide smile adorning his handsome features.

«Now shut up and let's cuddle, uh? I think I'm getting sleepy!»

And with that, the trial and tribulation his brain had to go through all this time, finally had and end.

Although more questions started to occupy his mind, those were fortunately of a more positive nature and also about a bright and happy future with Seungkwan.

His problems with the company were going to have to wait, for now he just wanted to rest and relax in his boyfriend's embrace and love.

**Author's Note:**

> And thus, we confirm that there's only one god and it's called verkwan, pass it on.


End file.
